Most Important Sport Ever

“The DNC is meeting today to decide the fate of THE MOST important race that man has ever seen. It’s Senator Clinton in one corner with 211 delegates at stake, all the while the overall Underweight Champion, Senator Obama, is floating like a butterfly and stinging like a kicking donkey. What will come of this meeting of the most genius political minds since Lock and Rawles? Will the titans prevail on the side of the scrappy (now New-Yorker) common-man-loving-lady? Or will only half the votes be counted, destroying her chance at fame and glory, neither seen before attached to the name of Clinton? Will Obama gain those much needed votes to show the world he is the front-runner of this nomination brawl, despite the numbers that may indicate otherwise, or wise? How will the fate of this nation be decided toda……SHARAPOVA HAS DOMINATED THE THIRD ROUND AT THE FRENCH OPEN! SHRAPOVA HAS DONE IT AGAIN FOLKS! What a wonderful young lady, the reason I got into this biz today.”

Grad Students

America At Work

If I wanted your opinion...

A 15 year old kid in Saskatchewan, Canada, was recently suspended for sharing his opinion on Marijuana with his classmates. "In my opinion, cannabis is safer than they say, it is not worse than alcohol or tobacco," adding he had never smoked or seen the illegal drug. This, in my opinion, is a good thing....That's right....If we wanted our honor students getting honest information about social issues and then going around and educating their contemporaries, they would have a four year degree and be called a "teacher." And on top of trying to show up his P.E coach during health class, this tenth grader decided to protest what he saw as an infringement on his rights and organized a walk-out...Well Mr. Worldly knowledge, if you think that rallying the people to demonstration in the cause of constitutional rights works, ask Cindy Sheehan.

http://www.mapinc.org/norml/v07/n712/a08.htm

The Friendly Administration

Helicopter Grave Yard

Associated Press has reported that hostile fire has been cited for the cause of four helicopter crashes in the last two weeks. The investigation is still on going, but thank GOD that it wasn’t just the lack of training in our billion dollar military that caused four simultaneous crashes on an average of two per week. That would have been embarrassing. Rather it appears, as Sunni Militants report, God has granted the Muslims the ability to take down the heathen American threat…with the help of black market infrared homing missiles. The U.S. military blames Iran for these weapons appearing in the hands of militant fighters, but I’ve figured it out…Iraq is a helicopter black hole…yah, that’s right….Just like the Bermuda Triangle, Iraq is a magical area of electromagnetic phenomenon defying the laws of physics…The proof? Have any of our helicopters crashed in Iraq before we took them there? I think not.

Bush Cartoon

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